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RUDE

Years ago, for just a few bucks to the bellhop, you could get yourself paged at the Beverly Hills Hotel. Your objective was to get noticed. Who knew whether Swifty Lazar was poolside? The mere mention of your name would bring the legendary agent's senses to immediate awareness. He would get one of his gophers to seek out the identity of the person being paged. Next stop… stardom. Yeah, right!

It was a pretty harmless game and the pages were only heard in certain areas. One's total privacy was not violated. Not so with today's mobile phones. I've had a cell phone for the past ten years as I've tried to keep up with the modernization of this current communications phenomenon.

Yes, I'm guilty of phoning home during a trip to Costco to determine if our household's coffee drinker is running low on his beverage of choice. It saves me time money-- not only on the product, but on the gasoline when I don't have to make a return trip. Granted, putting things on a shopping list would accomplish the same goal, but that's not the point of this article…. being rude, is.

Have you been to a public event lately? During live theatre performances, actors have come out of their roles to chide the owner of a ringing cell phone. Spectators at golf tournaments and tennis matches are asked to "shut off your phones and pagers or put them on vibrate."

Now there's an option…. a serious massage or minor aerobic experience as your communications tool gently pokes you in the ribs. And they say that the electric chair isn't fun!

Not long ago, I went to the movies to see Erin Brockovich. While Julie Roberts' costumes were a bit bizarre, while a small amount of the dialogue was actually funny, this was a serious movie about how one woman protected a small town from being poisoned by a major corporation. No comedy there.

Well I heard a couple of the most god awful laughs during this non-comedic movie. What could these people have possibly been thinking? I chalked it up to a couple of folks who had, and wouldn't admit to having a hearing problem. That wasn't nearly as bad as the conversations I was forced to listen to as people's cell phones kept ringing!

Finally, in an anything but dulcet tones, I glowered at the guy sitting two rows in back of us. He was discussing whether he and the phone call maker should dine on sushi or pastrami. Well frankly, Scarlett, I didn't give a damn, as I had come to watch the movie--- in silence!

Choosing my words carefully, I finally hit him with, "Yo mister, it might come as a shock to you that none of us give a damn about you or what you will or will not eat. Furthermore, nobody here is impressed that you have a cell phone. We all have cell phones. You're not impressing anyone, you're merely showing how rude and low class are. So, take yourself and your phone outta here."

I reveled in the round of applause I received. I noted a flurry of activity as people reached for their one phones and pagers to make certain they were turned off or at the very least, silently vibrating on their hip.

The next thing I heard was wonderful. It was the dialogue from the movie I had come to see and hear. I shouldn't have had to go out on a limb and risk being physically assaulted, if the guy had gotten really ticked and tried to hit me.

Take note, cell phone abusers, the rest of us are mad as hell and we're not going to take it any more. From now on, when you enter a room, shut off your phone. Thank you.

(Note: This was written several years ago. Today, I remain attached to my cell phone. That said, I respect the privacy of others and find myself lobbying for stricter rulings about cell phone use by vehicle drivers. (gap))