"…in the real world…" ™
A column by Gail Paparian

 My Best Friend: Me

    While I couldn’t vote in the 1952 presidential election, I would have traded a dozen “I Like Ike” buttons for the privilege of voting for Adlai Stevenson. I thought the man was inspired and inspiring. What did I know- I was only a kid.

   My father was a bully. Bullies are people who prey on those who are not as strong, or at least appear not to be strong. He informed my mother that she would be voting for General Eisenhower in the upcoming election. She said nothing as he departed the room.  

   We waited until we heard the noise on the stairs grow faint. Only then did my mother speak. “Let your dad think what he wants. When I get into the voting booth behind the security of the closed curtains, I will vote for whomever I choose. In this case, I’m voting for Mr. Stevenson.” Go, mom!

   For one of the few times in her life, my mother advocated for herself. Call her a victim or weak, she tolerated mental and physical abuse for years until the deterioration of Parkinson’s disease, osteoporosis and a bit of a broken spirit made her stop trying. With all she coped with, I remember her as a loving, caring person. Maybe her loss of willpower subliminally made me fight for everything just a little bit harder. 

    I might have purchased the first pillow for myself when I went away to college. Walking out of Bloomingdale’s in New York with my new I’m-going-away-to-college pillow, the first thing I did was tear off the label! The little tag that had struck fear in the hearts of people for years was now my victim. I’m not certain whether I stapled, bent or mutilated, but I can promise you, I arrived at my dorm with a tag-free pillow.

   I regularly interview doctors, dentists and attorneys before I entrust myself to them professionally. I want a doctor who isn’t too old to learn and isn’t too young to have earned an arsenal of experience. I want him/her to be board certified and I want to make certain we can get along.

   There is too much at stake to be whimsical or lackadaisical about a person who can make life threatening or life altering decisions about my life. Asking a question of a professional, be it to a doctor, lawyer or accountant is the right thing to do—for you and for them. In today’s hurry-up world, we need to be participants in our lives by being current and sharing information with professionals we choose to engage.

   While I embrace technology and live for the opportunity to purchase another electronic toy, I fear that our discretionary choices are shrinking. We rarely have the opportunity to speak with a person on the phone, as we are greeted with electronic menus. Local, state and federal governments become more intrusive in our lives and pocketbooks. At the end of the day if we are presented with choices, we may just be too tired to exercise these precious options.

    I treasure every chance I have to make a choice; be it what I purchase at the market, the cinemas I see, the books I read and most important, the choices I exercise about my life. The folks at Merriam Webster offer some definitions of the word choice: “selected with care; of high quality; power of choosing, option.”

    I am pro-choice and believe every woman and man should covet and exercise that option. I am also pro-life… MINE. Whenever possible, I want to be an active participant regarding decision made about me, and for me. While Mark Twain purportedly said, "Whiskey is for drinking; water is for fighting over" – I will continue to fight for people’s rights to choose whatever they want! 

The Supreme Court--- the people’s court—hangs in a delicate balance. Should my life be extended past today, I only pray I do not have to live in a world where a person is prevented from doing what makes life special ---- having the right of choice.                               

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