For the Record Gazette


A friend of mine lost her granddaughter a few weeks ago Š at age 17. Tabitha Loftis and her two friends had just finished a day at school and she was driving near the school in Palm Desert. She swerved, probably overcorrected and ran up the median into a tree. The three youngsters were killed instantly . . . at 17.

I saw my friend the other day and tried to help her in any way I could think of. While I never thought I would get over the pain of losing my husband, I cannot imagine what she is going through with the loss of a granddaughter who was living with her at the time. “I want do-overs,” she said several times. We both let this impossible dream pass into reality. We talked for a long time. I mainly tried to convince her that, if she could be granted “do-overs,” she probably wouldn't have done anything different. She was a strong, positive, loving influence in her granddaughter's life. “What could you have done different there,” I asked her almost rhetorically.

“I can tell you one thing,” she said pushing back sobs. “I wouldn't let teenagers going to high school have a car.”

She went on to say that if youngster needed to have a driver's license (as much for peer pressure as for transportation), they should have extensive driver education, including using a simulator to give them some experience with rain, wind, snow, oil, etc.

I went a step further and indicated that if teenagers are driving without a (mature) adult in the vehicle; cell phones, IPODs, other text message devices and even the car radio should be banned.



I was relieved we were conversing on one of my favorite subjectŠ safe, dependable public transportation.

I reminded my friend that I had been brought up in New York where we had a wonderful system of trains, buses and taxi cabs that substantially aided in the massive people moving logistics in the city.

My parents survived with one vehicle which my dad took to work, mainly. My mom used public transportation to get from Long Island into the City and my brother and I navigated through public transportation with our bus passes. The car was mainly used for Sunday outings. Amazing, we survived quite well.

Even though I've lived in California for well over 40 years, I am stunned that we haven't made even a scintilla of progress with public transportation; particularly in Southern California.

We are still engaged in building more freeways, which suffer pre-obsolescence before the bond issues are even sold! Why don't we get over the California mentality that we need to have one person per vehicle?

I keep reading that legislation is in the offing to test older folks for memory and reflexes. This is a good thing. With the painful loss of young Tabitha Loftis and stories in the newspapers almost on a daily basis that a youngster has been in or caused a fatal vehicle accident; haven't we finally reached the time to do something about how we can get from one place to another?

My friend lives in Palm Desert and other than driving her granddaughter to and from school every day because there was no reliable public transportation, her parents thought they could solve the problem by purchasing her a car. Their thoughts are within the realm of today's thinking.

I spend a great deal of my working and leisure time going to the desert. We used to live there and I still go to doctors, visit clients and friends there and play golf in the Coachella Valley.

Each trip I make is about 92 miles round trip. Bad as that is; it is relatively traffic free compared to heading west on the I-10 or 60. I won't even mention what happens to my nerves and blood pressure if I have to go anywhere that brings me to the 60/90/210/215 freeways. Be still my too-quickly-beating heart!

Like the tragedy of 9/11, it takes something this enormous to even think about effecting some change. I know what I'm going to do again in anticipation of any upcoming election for local, state or federal offices. I am going to do what I've done for years Š ask electeds or wannabes how they will make safe, reliable, affordable and yes, desirable public transportation a reality.

I'm dedicating this column to young Tabitha --- gone too soon. Maybe with her as an inspiration, we can keep teenagers safer because we have given them other choices rather than driving their own vehicle.

IN THE REAL WORD is written for the Record Gazette by Gail Paparian, a Banning resident for nearly six years, has served on Banning (and Riverside County) commissions and committees.
She currently serves on the following boards: Community Blood Bank, San Gorgonio Pass Rotary, San Gorgonio Pass Boys and Girls Club and a member of the Banning Economic Development Committee.
Gail and her husband Bill Paparian created a service called Writing Solutions in 1996. Gail has also written for a number of local and national magazines and newspapers over the years. Currently, she provides public relations consulting services for the Banning Unified School District. She can be reached at: This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it .